Who says I need Justin or others around to have a burn party? One overly ambitious night, in April, when Justin was at work late, I decided to finally get to it. Another year had officially bitten the dust as i cut down & cleared last years ornamental grasses and all the rest of the shit in our yard that I blatanly ignored LAST spring. I was quite proud of myself, however that proud feeling trailed behind my initial feeling of True Fear. As i did this by myself with several massive squeezes of the Lighter Fluid and those gay 12-inch long matches. Now – check out the fairly confident Jen in the first shot. It’s cool – I’m cool, this is fun I'm thinking. As you can see, I’m in the frame of the shot. Now the flames were actually larger just seconds before the click of the auto-timer went off on my camera. Ok, now check out the Thumbs Up i'm giving in the 2nd pic...yeah, keep looking you'll see it, over to the left.
HOLY CRAP that went up as quick as the boner of a virgin getting his first lap dance! Yeah, so i had the lighter fluid in my hand and fully thought i was SO close to the flames for that shot, apparently I was not. I was everything but confident that time around. I swear I felt the peach fuzz on my earlobes curl up, frizzle and fry. I was having fun, all by myself. Sorry mom, it doesn’t look like I learned much from you when it comes to your life lesson of “jen, don’t play with fire.” Burn baby burn. that’s what we Michiganders do, here in Bedford County, come Spring, when our husbands are away at the office working late & we have a yard full of work to do. It’s called Productive Boredom. (My husband was proud when he came home to find my massive burn pile of ashes & the house still around & no firemen called to the scene)
Who says I need Justin or others around to have a burn party? One overly ambitious night, in April, when Justin was at work late, I decided to finally get to it. Another year had officially bitten the dust as i cut down & cleared last years ornamental grasses and all the rest of the shit in our yard that I blatanly ignored LAST spring. I was quite proud of myself, however that proud feeling trailed behind my initial feeling of True Fear. As i did this by myself with several massive squeezes of the Lighter Fluid and those gay 12-inch long matches. Now – check out the fairly confident Jen in the first shot. It’s cool – I’m cool, this is fun I'm thinking. As you can see, I’m in the frame of the shot. Now the flames were actually larger just seconds before the click of the auto-timer went off on my camera. Ok, now check out the Thumbs Up i'm giving in the 2nd pic...yeah, keep looking you'll see it, over to the left. HOLY CRAP that went up as quick as the boner of a virgin getting his first lap dance! Yeah, so i had the lighter fluid in my hand and fully thought i was SO close to the flames for that shot, apparently I was not. I was everything but confident that time around. I swear I felt the peach fuzz on my earlobes curl up, frizzle and fry. I was having fun, all by myself. Sorry mom, it doesn’t look like I learned much from you when it comes to your life lesson of “jen, don’t play with fire.” Burn baby burn. that’s what we Michiganders do, here in Bedford County, come Spring, when our husbands are away at the office working late & we have a yard full of work to do. It’s called Productive Boredom. (My husband was proud when he came home to find my massive burn pile of ashes & the house still around & no firemen called to the scene)
5 comments:
THAT'S TOO FUNNY HONEY--NEVER HEARD THAT BONER DECRIPTION BEFORE--YA GOT SOME A DEM GHIGH SCHOOL BOYS HEP'IN OUT ROUND DA HOUSE WHILE JASPAR IS "HARD" AT WORK???
LUV YAZ SEE YA SOON
Like Beavis says, "Yes, yes, fire, fire, fire, heh, heh."
Nice Fire!
Hahaha...you're braver than me! And my hubby would be mad if he thought I'd had more fun than him with the fire. Hahaha...
Jen, You should become a writer....this stuff is hilarious. I can become your agent and we'll take the show on the road!
You really should stick to writing or running the office, I don't think you would pass the fireman's test!
Have a great summer! Can't wait for the next posting!
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