JEN, STEP AWAY FROM YOUR SHEARS: Weapon of Destruction

Uh, yeah – so how hard can it be to trim your own bangs? And why spend the $12 to have it done by your stylist in order to get that perfect slanting angle effect you have going on? Well I can now tell you why. I suppose because in the process of utilizing the “vertical cutting technique” with your professional haircutting shears you so happily purchased at Sally’s Beauty Salon you may just slide up INTO your right eyebrow each & EVERY time when you THINK you are only sliding up in under your bangs.....AND....... proceed to cut away half of your right eyebrow down to virtually nothing. All unbeknownst to you. Then, leaving you with the daily morning task of metamorphosing yourself into some kind of Hollywood Professional Makeup Artist in order to apply just the perfect amount of eyebrow pencil to the area where bare flesh now reveals itself, where just days ago there were brook shield-like eyebrows. Let’s just say I have an appt. next week with my girl at the D.Broadway Salon. And I was SO into the bang trimming process, let me tell you. I was just going to town…..snip snip snip snip. Snip. Snip. Didn’t even notice until I was all finished, stepped back from the bathroom mirror, made my Zooolander-model-face-look feeling all proud of what I had just accomplished free of charge – and then it came out “WHAT THE #*!#*!!?”

Justin's Exciting News!

For any of you that actually read through our blog when I launched it back in February, Pre-Florida Auction, I had mentioned to “stay tuned for some very exciting news about Justin in our next update”. Well here it is – Justin launched RealtimeBid.com – and it was a success! I’m extremely proud of him and I’d be lying if I didn’t say also very “over it”. Let me clarify: I’m over his strenuous winter work schedule because this little iddy biddy tiny addition to his already normally INSANE winter workload with Yoder & Frey (do you sense the sarcasm?) was CRAZY this time around!!! BUT lets bring this back around to the positive, right!? RealtimeBid.com was a success and HE DONE GOOD, REAL GOOD! And he looked even better in his custom RealtimeBid.com sweatshirts that i got for him & his crew. Oh and yeah – a special thanks to my dad’s design firm (also my employer), Lesniewicz Associates, who had a little something to do with the logo, branding and identity of this whole thing (wink). For more details click on justin’s website http://www.realtimebid.com/

“JLo MOMENT” #1: February

So I am lucky enough to occasionally experience in life what I refer to as a “JLo Moment”. Something someone more like Jennifer Lopez or Katie Holmes would get to do – NOT ME. And I do not mean to come off as presumptuous or bragging when (on the rare occasion) I have an opportunity to share these on our blog (I would like to hope you all know me better than that). And I think we all have had our JLo Moments here and there at SOME point during our lives. This time, I was especially fortunate enough to have two JLo Moments, one in Feb. and one in March. This February it presented itself when I slid on my new designer shades at the sunglass counter at Neiman Marcus in Orlando, Florida while in the middle of Britny and I’s 2nd annual florida shopping spree (I do believe the two of us do bring a new meaning to the phrase “shop till you drop” – holy schineetos it’s fun!). And Yes, I went on a serious mission this year – TO GET MYSELF SOME DESIGNER SHADES. Period. No messing around. I’m sick of the cheap ones I’ve settled for over the last 25 years. And I wanted something beautiful! While some people might choose to get an ipod or perhaps laser hair removal in their I’m-very-hungarian-bikini area– well I chose shades with this one. And here they are in the pic above and I frickin’ LOVE them. I didn’t want a lot of bling on the sides, my requirements were NO large letters or obnoxious branding anywhere on them. It wasn’t about what brand they were – I could really give a shit. but it WAS about having some kick-ass stylish shades! Well, thanks to Britny for telling me that I would not be walking away that day without those shades on my face as my own – so, Mission Accomplished. And as brand new moms for the first time often say “I didn’t think I could love something so much” – I sure do love these babies! And I am also aware of the fact that I may just now resemble Mary J. Blige with these things, well if it weren’t for my white skin, true lack of a singing voice & ZERO dance moves. My best purchase over the last 5 years by far!

“JLo MOMENT” #2: March

Flying First Class for the first & very more than likely the LAST time ever, to Las Vegas was a true JLo Moment! Thanks to my mom & dad-in-law. But sadly & to my ONLY disappointment during that flight, as once seen in a classic episode of Seinfeld, I did not enjoy a hot towel on my face NOR were we served hot fudge sundaes. However, I was served water in this fancy glass – you do not get that in coach now do you. It was luxurious I must say, any of you who have flown 1st class before know what I’m talking about; the extra room on a 4-5 hour flight was wonderful! I truly appreciated the experience. BUT. I shall not get used to that kind of treatment I know (Justin, you can relax now). so NWA coach look for the return of Jennifer Clark cuz I’m heading back to my reality next time! BTW – if any of you go to Vegas you should do yourself a favor and go see LOVE (The Beatles Cirque). It was fabulous & you may just find yourself like me – fighting the urge to cry on two separate occasions while taking in the mind-blowing music of The Beatles as it playfully coordinates with the theatrical skits being performed on the stage just a few feet in front of you. As much as I wish I was joking (or more like as much as YOU probably wish I was joking here) I am dead serious ☺ it was awesome. The Beatles are truly the best band to have ever existed and will be the best band in history to ever exist. I don’t even know who could argue that one – an idiot I suppose. ☺

Night out on the Town: Florida

1st pic: Hadley, Jen, Rory. The night out was great other then the fact that my feet felt like they were giving birth to my shoes. It really sucked my ass (that S.M.A reference is for you Brian M. & John Jr.). Yea, this time the "fashion over function" philosophy that i often find myself living by was NO GOOD that night. Dancing was the function part of that evening & the shoes weren't cuttin' it. 2nd pic: If Justin doesn’t look HOT in this shirt that I picked out for him in Winter Park, FL then slap my face hard.

“The Reunion”

After being gone for almost 3 weeks in florida back in Feb.….Hank & I Reunited. I love him so much and I’m still waiting around for that shot you can give your dog that will let them live on forever with you. Come on research team in somewhereville, get on that please.

Anti-Pessimistic Training 101

Anti-Pessimistic Training 101. Instructor: Justin. Pupil: Jen.

So Justin thought it was a good time to condition his wife to not think so pessimistically (i like to refer to myself as a “realist” not a pessimist” thank you very much!) and he did so by placing his ever so full glass of apple juice on the tiny small barely there edge of our couch right next to us. Lets just say I felt continually tense through our “you are FINALLY home” cuddling session while catching him up on the season finale of October Road. For real though, it only took a few minutes for me to forget completely about the “reality” of that glass spilling all over us and instead enjoy having my adorable husband HOME - FINALLY. Special Note: in addition to seeing LOVE, The Beatles Cirque show in Vegas, do yourselves another favor and get Simply Apple – it is so good and good for you, pure unconcentrated real apple juice. Try it it’s super yummy.

“BLAST FROM THE PAST” FEATURE

We are so “money” in this shot. 1988. Toledo, Ohio. Me, my sister Amy, one of my very best friends, Britny and her sister Ashley, Paige…and lets not forget a special mention to…..OUR PERMS. oh yeah, and Eddie Money. Need I say more?

Kelly, the Barn…..and THE BOOTS.

Contrary to this photo, there actually was a ton of snow on the ground. But this was inside the arena of the barn where my aunt joyce works. My sister and I went to go visit the 4 baby horses (sorry to the horse lovers out there for my apparent lack of horse terminology). During our little field trip I found myself in somewhat of a dilemma. Well two actually. ONE – that the blonde hair you see on my vintage ski boots is…..well…..horse hair. Yikes. I was kind of feeling bad as I would pet the horsies in the stable while at the same time rationalizing my xmas gift from my sister 5 years ago with the assumption that they don’t hurt any horses to make these boots. Right!? It’s just their hair??? And my 2nd dilemma – I didn’t want to get them dirty having to go across all that dirt in the barrel arena of the stables. so Kelly, Joyce’s co-worker, was nice enough to carry me across after he had met me for the first time just seconds earlier. Thank you Kelly, next time I’ll be sure to show up in my shit-kickers and maybe I’ll even throw a pinch of chew in my side cheek. Not only so I don’t have to be Paris Hilton worrying about my damn boots getting dirty but also due to the fact that with that getup of mine that day at the stables & barrel arena – the only thing missing was the trailing sound of that song from Sesame Street “One of these is not like the others” as I would walk on by passing everyone else in that barn that day. FOR SURE I’ll have some shit-kickers on next time. so perhaps I have the chance of blending in at least a tad bit.

Hank’s "Friend of the Month Club” Feature

Figured for this feature, Hank's Friend of the Month Club, I could "kill four pets with one stone” using these photos – oooo, that doesn’t sound good. Anyway – this is around xmas time at my parents house. Hank's Friends are: my parents dog Max, my sister’s dogs Ben & Maizey….and then there’s the “black sheep” of the family, or shall I say Black Dog…Hanky-poo.

Jodi & John Are Engaged!

Congratulations to my cousin in Denver, Jodi and her now fiance, John!

Meet My True Love For The First Time - Or Again

WARNING: May Need Your Vomit Bag for the following two introductions. Justin, 33 years old, recently married – to me! IT Dude, Sales Guy, and other things i know i'm forgetting for Yoder & Frey Auctioneers, Inc. http://www.yoderandfrey.com Currently he is working very hard in preparation for their 34th annual florida auction. I am missing him so much but will see him soon in the sunny state & i cannot wait!! If i had to choose one word that describes my husband, in my eyes at least (and in many others i would imagine) it would be this one simple word: WONDERFUL. You can look for some very exciting news about justin's current project in our next blog update!

Meet My 2nd "true love"

LAST WARNING for vomit bag, after this one you can put it away. This is Hank....he's my 2nd true love. He is the most precious dog you could ever know (even if you have your own. - hehe). Hank is a very busy dog - he currently holds a position at Lesniewicz Associates as the company mascot http://www.designtoinfluence.com where he has enjoyed this job going on 2 yrs. now. His duties are to sit down, sleep, beg for food from all the employees come lunch time, greet our clients and visitors when they come through the door.... but his most important job responsibility is to look cute while doing all of this - let's just say he has "job security" because he never fails at his job tasks!

People might think i'm nuts about this dog but you must know a little history. I rescued him back in 1998 from some farmers when he was 4 years old; they were giving him away because he "....is lazy and doesn't do anything around here." ok - i'm thinking isn't always looking cute alot of work, geez, "doesn't do anything"! Hank was terrified, never had been in a car, wanted to go back home....but eventually he turned around and now he makes such a great friend. He's been by my side through great and tough times and he's great company while my husband travels. And any dog lover would understand that i am NOT nuts. I just love my dog. How couldn't you love Hank....just look at this photo of him!

2007 Recap #1: Our Rehearsal Dinner Night

Yes, i plead guilty to public intoxication. This was 19 hours before i said "I Do" and approximately 4 hours before i unexpectedly passed out in my hotel bed and locked my VERY SOON to be husband out of our room for the rest of the night – or what was left of it at least! Now remember this was all by accident - i'm not sure what i was thinking when i did that shot with Justin (he really should lay off of the booze). Yep, you read it, Justin did a shot– the first and ONLY time i have ever seen my husband drink. As you can see by this photo it is probably best only one of us dabbles in the cocktails once in awhile. In my defense, this is a rarity. Luckily Justin, after trying unsuccessfully for 45 min. to find somebody at the hotel to let him in our room, bumped into the janitor who had the keys to any and all rooms. Good thing that janitor trusted the RIGHT guy, my fiance, and NOT some lunatic! I love you Justin and i apologize again for the mishap there. Phew – i'm glad you showed up to meet me at the ceremony, i think i almost blew it huh!

2007 Recap #2: Shorty Turns 90!

My grandpa, Sylvester Lesniewicz A.K.A. "Shorty", turned 90 this past November. He hammed it up at his big party - playing air guitar with his cane! Uh yeah, makes you wonder if he REALLY needs that cane if he can play it as a friggin' guitar for 3 minutes straight to a polka song. It should be know that his cane actually functions as an air guitar as well as the stick that he uses to beat away all the chickies that are after him (he is a very popular bachelor on his street in west Toledo!). Grandpa you are the best & we love you so much. And soooooo do the ladies (as evidenced by the dame in this video trying to dance with him but watch as he completely ignores her - he has no time for that, he has an air guitar to play! Click on video above.

2007 Recap #3: The Honeymoon....Are You Still Smelling Horse Poop?

We drove from VT to Montreal then made our way across Canada to the Upper Penninula of Michigan then back home. Montreal was wonderful. The drive across Canada was beautiful. The U.P./Mackinac Island - well, we bolted after just 12 hours from Mackinac Island because one can only smell so much horsesh*t and fudge - or should i say two can only......thanks but no thanks! So we headed down to my parents place on Lake Leelanau.....aaaaahhhh no horse poopy (Hank of course missed it).

2007 Recap #4: If You Got It Flaunt It.

If you got it flaunt it. Or if you don't got it, pick some oranges in florida, stuff them in your shirt AND THEN flaunt it. Britny came down to play in florida last year when i was there with Justin. This is the backyard of Justin & Hadley's house in Zepherhills (their grandmother left them her house) - we picked key limes, grapefruits and oranges. Oh yeah, and i got to know what it felt like to have big boobs for a change. Brit, i can't wait for Florida round #2 see you soon!

2007 Recap #5: Jen Gets Prodded By Hadley

Hadley, Justin's sister and my favorite and only sister-in-law (Hads, if i had more then one you'd still be my favorite!) decided to go back for another 3 years of school in Aug. 2007. She is attending The New England School of Acupuncture in Watertown, MA. where she is working on her Masters Degree in Acupuncture & Oriental Medicine http://www.nesa.edu/ How cool is that :) I had the honor of being prodded by one of her needles on xmas day where i have to admit if i hadn't had the one strong margarita in me i would have been way more wimpy about doing that!

2007 Recap #6: Amy Launches Her Letter Press Business

My sister, Amy, launched her Letter Press business in 2007 calling it Alice Louise Press. She named it after our grandmother, Alice Louise Strick, who worked a press for years back in the day. This photo was taken in Sept. 2007 where Amy attended her first wedding show & Alice stopped by for a visit. For more details visit “Who is Alice” on the company's website http://www.alice-louise.com/about/alice.html. Now if you want some kick a** letter pressed stationery, invitations, business cards, etc. this is the place! Even if she wasn't my sister i'd be pimping this! Amy custom designed & letter pressed ALL printed materials for our wedding from the invitations & ceremony program, to the welcome bag notes, to the menus on the reception tables. THANK YOU Amy everything was so beautiful! And for xmas she custom designed two sets of "hank" note cards for me – you know i am loving that. Now as for the rest of you....place a order with her! You won't find a cooler set of note cards then what she has designed & printed herself! To see her line visit http://www.alice-louise.com

2007 Recap #7: Our Wedding...of course!

You didn't think i'd let this blog go out without yet ANOTHER pic or mention of our wedding did ya? Our wedding is now being featured on The Knot.com for destination weddings! Check out the link below! www.weddings.theknot.com/ODB/THEMES/REALWEDDINGS/View.aspx?ID=22856 The date, as most of you know, was 07.07.07 and it was the best day of the year! Actually let me rephrase that – the best day of the century! Vermont was the place (Clark's residence to be specific) and it was AWESOME. Thank you again to everyone that made the trek to VT. And thank you moms & dads for everything! We love all of you so much! xoxo, mr. & mrs. justin peter clark :) you can view more 2007 Recaps in the monthly archives to the right & you may just find "Lola" in April archive interesting (it will answer the never ending question "are The Newlyweds going to have kids?"!)