JEN, STEP AWAY FROM YOUR SHEARS: Weapon of Destruction

Uh, yeah – so how hard can it be to trim your own bangs? And why spend the $12 to have it done by your stylist in order to get that perfect slanting angle effect you have going on? Well I can now tell you why. I suppose because in the process of utilizing the “vertical cutting technique” with your professional haircutting shears you so happily purchased at Sally’s Beauty Salon you may just slide up INTO your right eyebrow each & EVERY time when you THINK you are only sliding up in under your bangs.....AND....... proceed to cut away half of your right eyebrow down to virtually nothing. All unbeknownst to you. Then, leaving you with the daily morning task of metamorphosing yourself into some kind of Hollywood Professional Makeup Artist in order to apply just the perfect amount of eyebrow pencil to the area where bare flesh now reveals itself, where just days ago there were brook shield-like eyebrows. Let’s just say I have an appt. next week with my girl at the D.Broadway Salon. And I was SO into the bang trimming process, let me tell you. I was just going to town…..snip snip snip snip. Snip. Snip. Didn’t even notice until I was all finished, stepped back from the bathroom mirror, made my Zooolander-model-face-look feeling all proud of what I had just accomplished free of charge – and then it came out “WHAT THE #*!#*!!?”

Justin's Exciting News!

For any of you that actually read through our blog when I launched it back in February, Pre-Florida Auction, I had mentioned to “stay tuned for some very exciting news about Justin in our next update”. Well here it is – Justin launched RealtimeBid.com – and it was a success! I’m extremely proud of him and I’d be lying if I didn’t say also very “over it”. Let me clarify: I’m over his strenuous winter work schedule because this little iddy biddy tiny addition to his already normally INSANE winter workload with Yoder & Frey (do you sense the sarcasm?) was CRAZY this time around!!! BUT lets bring this back around to the positive, right!? RealtimeBid.com was a success and HE DONE GOOD, REAL GOOD! And he looked even better in his custom RealtimeBid.com sweatshirts that i got for him & his crew. Oh and yeah – a special thanks to my dad’s design firm (also my employer), Lesniewicz Associates, who had a little something to do with the logo, branding and identity of this whole thing (wink). For more details click on justin’s website http://www.realtimebid.com/

“JLo MOMENT” #1: February

So I am lucky enough to occasionally experience in life what I refer to as a “JLo Moment”. Something someone more like Jennifer Lopez or Katie Holmes would get to do – NOT ME. And I do not mean to come off as presumptuous or bragging when (on the rare occasion) I have an opportunity to share these on our blog (I would like to hope you all know me better than that). And I think we all have had our JLo Moments here and there at SOME point during our lives. This time, I was especially fortunate enough to have two JLo Moments, one in Feb. and one in March. This February it presented itself when I slid on my new designer shades at the sunglass counter at Neiman Marcus in Orlando, Florida while in the middle of Britny and I’s 2nd annual florida shopping spree (I do believe the two of us do bring a new meaning to the phrase “shop till you drop” – holy schineetos it’s fun!). And Yes, I went on a serious mission this year – TO GET MYSELF SOME DESIGNER SHADES. Period. No messing around. I’m sick of the cheap ones I’ve settled for over the last 25 years. And I wanted something beautiful! While some people might choose to get an ipod or perhaps laser hair removal in their I’m-very-hungarian-bikini area– well I chose shades with this one. And here they are in the pic above and I frickin’ LOVE them. I didn’t want a lot of bling on the sides, my requirements were NO large letters or obnoxious branding anywhere on them. It wasn’t about what brand they were – I could really give a shit. but it WAS about having some kick-ass stylish shades! Well, thanks to Britny for telling me that I would not be walking away that day without those shades on my face as my own – so, Mission Accomplished. And as brand new moms for the first time often say “I didn’t think I could love something so much” – I sure do love these babies! And I am also aware of the fact that I may just now resemble Mary J. Blige with these things, well if it weren’t for my white skin, true lack of a singing voice & ZERO dance moves. My best purchase over the last 5 years by far!

“JLo MOMENT” #2: March

Flying First Class for the first & very more than likely the LAST time ever, to Las Vegas was a true JLo Moment! Thanks to my mom & dad-in-law. But sadly & to my ONLY disappointment during that flight, as once seen in a classic episode of Seinfeld, I did not enjoy a hot towel on my face NOR were we served hot fudge sundaes. However, I was served water in this fancy glass – you do not get that in coach now do you. It was luxurious I must say, any of you who have flown 1st class before know what I’m talking about; the extra room on a 4-5 hour flight was wonderful! I truly appreciated the experience. BUT. I shall not get used to that kind of treatment I know (Justin, you can relax now). so NWA coach look for the return of Jennifer Clark cuz I’m heading back to my reality next time! BTW – if any of you go to Vegas you should do yourself a favor and go see LOVE (The Beatles Cirque). It was fabulous & you may just find yourself like me – fighting the urge to cry on two separate occasions while taking in the mind-blowing music of The Beatles as it playfully coordinates with the theatrical skits being performed on the stage just a few feet in front of you. As much as I wish I was joking (or more like as much as YOU probably wish I was joking here) I am dead serious ☺ it was awesome. The Beatles are truly the best band to have ever existed and will be the best band in history to ever exist. I don’t even know who could argue that one – an idiot I suppose. ☺

Night out on the Town: Florida

1st pic: Hadley, Jen, Rory. The night out was great other then the fact that my feet felt like they were giving birth to my shoes. It really sucked my ass (that S.M.A reference is for you Brian M. & John Jr.). Yea, this time the "fashion over function" philosophy that i often find myself living by was NO GOOD that night. Dancing was the function part of that evening & the shoes weren't cuttin' it. 2nd pic: If Justin doesn’t look HOT in this shirt that I picked out for him in Winter Park, FL then slap my face hard.

“The Reunion”

After being gone for almost 3 weeks in florida back in Feb.….Hank & I Reunited. I love him so much and I’m still waiting around for that shot you can give your dog that will let them live on forever with you. Come on research team in somewhereville, get on that please.

Anti-Pessimistic Training 101

Anti-Pessimistic Training 101. Instructor: Justin. Pupil: Jen.

So Justin thought it was a good time to condition his wife to not think so pessimistically (i like to refer to myself as a “realist” not a pessimist” thank you very much!) and he did so by placing his ever so full glass of apple juice on the tiny small barely there edge of our couch right next to us. Lets just say I felt continually tense through our “you are FINALLY home” cuddling session while catching him up on the season finale of October Road. For real though, it only took a few minutes for me to forget completely about the “reality” of that glass spilling all over us and instead enjoy having my adorable husband HOME - FINALLY. Special Note: in addition to seeing LOVE, The Beatles Cirque show in Vegas, do yourselves another favor and get Simply Apple – it is so good and good for you, pure unconcentrated real apple juice. Try it it’s super yummy.

“BLAST FROM THE PAST” FEATURE

We are so “money” in this shot. 1988. Toledo, Ohio. Me, my sister Amy, one of my very best friends, Britny and her sister Ashley, Paige…and lets not forget a special mention to…..OUR PERMS. oh yeah, and Eddie Money. Need I say more?

Kelly, the Barn…..and THE BOOTS.

Contrary to this photo, there actually was a ton of snow on the ground. But this was inside the arena of the barn where my aunt joyce works. My sister and I went to go visit the 4 baby horses (sorry to the horse lovers out there for my apparent lack of horse terminology). During our little field trip I found myself in somewhat of a dilemma. Well two actually. ONE – that the blonde hair you see on my vintage ski boots is…..well…..horse hair. Yikes. I was kind of feeling bad as I would pet the horsies in the stable while at the same time rationalizing my xmas gift from my sister 5 years ago with the assumption that they don’t hurt any horses to make these boots. Right!? It’s just their hair??? And my 2nd dilemma – I didn’t want to get them dirty having to go across all that dirt in the barrel arena of the stables. so Kelly, Joyce’s co-worker, was nice enough to carry me across after he had met me for the first time just seconds earlier. Thank you Kelly, next time I’ll be sure to show up in my shit-kickers and maybe I’ll even throw a pinch of chew in my side cheek. Not only so I don’t have to be Paris Hilton worrying about my damn boots getting dirty but also due to the fact that with that getup of mine that day at the stables & barrel arena – the only thing missing was the trailing sound of that song from Sesame Street “One of these is not like the others” as I would walk on by passing everyone else in that barn that day. FOR SURE I’ll have some shit-kickers on next time. so perhaps I have the chance of blending in at least a tad bit.

Hank’s "Friend of the Month Club” Feature

Figured for this feature, Hank's Friend of the Month Club, I could "kill four pets with one stone” using these photos – oooo, that doesn’t sound good. Anyway – this is around xmas time at my parents house. Hank's Friends are: my parents dog Max, my sister’s dogs Ben & Maizey….and then there’s the “black sheep” of the family, or shall I say Black Dog…Hanky-poo.

Jodi & John Are Engaged!

Congratulations to my cousin in Denver, Jodi and her now fiance, John!